20 Slasher Films You Forgot About

  by I. Alexander Nash

That's a fucking bold ass statement.  There really aren't that many slasher films that haven't been uplifted by fans and critics in this age of internet.  There are plenty of youtube videos and blog pages full of reviews of these films.  The question you're asking yourself right now is what makes this entry different from any of those?  The answer is simple:  I am a thousand times funnier than any of those people.  You've probably heard of many of these movies before, but I have scrapped the bottom of the barrel to find the most esoteric of slasher films for this.  Let me also state that these are primarily 1980's American and Canadian slasher films.  Yes  I'm sure there are tons of French, Italian, and...I don't know...Chilean slasher movies that many people haven't seen, but there's a certain joie de vivre to North American made slasher films.  Maybe the Italians created it with giallo movies, but dammit, Americans perfected it and made it into the trashy art that it is today.  They're listed in sort of in an order from easily available to rarest, but really, what the hell do I know. Many of these are out of print or only released on VHS, but if you're suave in your interneting I'm sure you'll have no problems tracking them down.  Hint:  a shit ton of them are fully uploaded on a popular streaming video website that starts with you and ends with lube.  No wait, that's what most of my dates end in.

20.  Slaughter High (aka April Fools Day)[1986]

Easily assessable British slasher film moonlighting as all American as apple pie, or welfare.  Typical plot about high schoolers (or people in their mid-thirties) playing a prank on Marty the local nerd, causing his face to be sprayed with acid (after it falls off the top of a rickety self.  sweet storage chemistry club).  Marty gets his revenge after inviting all interested parties to a staged class reunion dispatching them in some what creative and graphic ways.  What works in this movie are the murders, the soundtrack (Harry Manfredini of Friday the 13th fame) and the killers creepy old man jester's outfit.  What doesn't work in this movie is the acting, the acting and the acting.  All the actors use the worst faux American accents really disconnecting you from the story.  Plus the very obvious British boarding school sets don't help this thing pass for American.  Still, the kill scenes and the prerequisite Caroline Munro jiggling should keep your attention to the end.  A notable entry in the slasher genre.

 19.  Just Before Dawn [1981]

Fairly prototypical backwoods slasher film with a very slight twist.  Camping teens get attacked by rednecks in the woods.  I know, I know.  As glowing as that plot description sounds, this one really is a find.  What sets this film apart from trash like Don't Go in the Woods is the superior acting and the amazing nature photography.  Directed by Jeff (Squirm, Blue Sunshine) Lieberman, this is the one Friday the 13th clone that really works.  Nothing new in the way of plot, but utilizes the greatest aspect that a "lost in the woods" movie can have, location.  It's strange saying that one of the best things a slasher movie has going for it is the pretty waterfalls and greenery, but it really opens this movie up and gives it a scope that adds so much to the production value.  Overall what makes this movie sing is the awesome performance by Greg (Slither, Super) Henry.  Henry plays the typical slasher alpha male, but what makes his performance special is his degeneration into weak and scared excess baggage, opening up the opportunity for the survivor female to take her place.  And what a fucking last survivor!  The last stand finale of the film has yet to be topped in slasherdom.  It has only been somewhat replicated by the film Feast.  I won't ruin the twist ending for you, but let's just say there's a reason for the killer being in two places at once in this film.  Better than The Final Terror and Wrong Turn combined.  With George Kennedy batting clean up.

18.  Sledgehammer [1983]

And now we're getting to the dregs.  Video cameras became prevalent in the 1980's and everyone and their muscle bound Playgirl appearing brothers thought they could make a cheap horror film for the video market.  They were not wrong.  Made by the Prior brothers in 1983, Sledgehammer, the second shot on video movie ever, concerns a house full of trashy 80's people being stalked by a guy wearing a mask carrying a sledgehammer.  Pretty basic slasher plot.  It tends to meander in hallucinations, child abuse and I guess ghosts (?) as a back story for the non-seminal lead character.  None of this makes much sense other than it's the typical previous evil that all slashers seem to have.  Back story of the character aside, this movie is as junky as you think it is.  It never get's interesting nor gory as most of the sledgehammer murders get as destructive as you you think they should.  It basically ends up being a bunch of very unlikeable and ugly young adults throwing a boring party in a trashed house.  The main point of the thing seems to be an excuse for Ted Prior to remove his shirt at the drop of a hat.  Shot on video for the video market crap.

17.  Rocktober Blood [1984]

This film came out in the height of the cock rock music genre.  Cock rock and horror go hand and hand, it seems natural to mix the two.  Rocktober Blood was one of the first to cross the two genres beating out Trick or Treat by about three years.  It is also one of crappiest in the subgenre.  The plot concerns a band named Rocktober Blood, who has many members murdered on the cusp of releasing a new album, seemingly by there lead singer Billy.  Billy is charged with the crime and executed.  The girl who fingered (not literally) him takes over as lead signer of the new line up of Rocktober Blood.  When the murders start up again right before the release of the new album all fingers (man this guy loves to get fingered) point to Billy rising from the grave for revenge...or maybe the bitch has just huffed too much Pink Aquanet.  When all cards are on the table you won't be impressed with the outcome.  Ah hell I don't mind ruinnign this one for you.  It's Billy's twin brother.  Thrilling.  Not a great slasher, but you haven't seen it...unless you have.  And if you have, what the hell are doing reading this?

16.  Hollowgate [1988]

Kid gets abused by his father while bobbing for apples (which is actually a hilarious scene) only to return years later to kill people on Halloween in a variety of ways that are represented by his costumes (i.e. solider: he shoots them.  farmer:  runs them over with a combine etc)  This movie works conceptually, but fails technically.  It's shot on that weird late 80's film...or video, you really cant tell.  It's to clean looking to be film, but to dirty to be video.  Either way it makes it look like shit.  This thing could benefit from a rewrite and better production value.  Actually if you did it as a big budget remake, it could work very well.  As it stands now, way too sub pair to be taken seriously.  I appreciate the effort though.

15.  Open House [1987]

Dog food eating homeless psycho kills real estate agents as some sort of commentary on yuppies and the declining middle class or something like that.  This movie plays out like an episode of Falcon Crest or Dynasty.  It misses the mark with the nasty side of slasher films and ops to be a whodunit concentrating more on the leads (Joseph Bottoms and Adrienne Barbeau) and their love story.  There are some great concepts working in this thing.  The kills are strong (one in particular involving a toilet plunger and razorblades is particularly inventive) as well as the look of the killer.  We just don't get enough of it in this movie.  It tends to drag you through boring situations instead of dragging you through unpleasantness which is what slashers are all about.  Recently it has gotten renewed interest as it appeared on Netflix instant.

14.  The Redeemer (aka Class Reunion Massacre) [1978]

Not a 1980's slasher film, but most people know it as Class Reunion Massacre which was released on video in the 1980's.  This movie is a glorious mess as it uses so many ideas that are never explained but all add up as whole to make a deliriously enjoyable early slasher film.  A preacher is visited by a three thumbed kid who rises from a lake transferring his extra appendage which makes the preacher go on a killing spree.  Sounds awesome right?  Well I think so.   I know you're saying "Sounds like Slaughter High" well you'd be some what right about that, but this film has it's own swerve to it.  The preacher uses a number of disguises to lure and kill "sinners" at a phony class reunion.  What works in this movie is it's absurdity as well as it's strange sometimes comical tone that can change on a dime into being completely creepy and serious as a heart attack (the clown killing a girl in the shower while yelling religious nonsense at her is a perfect example).  A great synth score and the strange addition of the "thumbs" subplot really kick this thing into being one of the more interesting slasher films from that era. Props go to the actor (with the name none other than T.G. Finkbinder) playing the killer for his over the top and movie saving performance. A winner in my book, I don't give a shit about your book.  Shit your book was probably written by Dean Koontz.

  13.  Horror House on Highway 5 [1985]

This movie is fucking senseless.  It quite literally makes no sense.  Nothing is explained nor is any of it important.  That's also where most of it's charm comes from.  Dip shit in a Richard Nixon mask runs around killing random people as his two retard sons prepare for his return.  He suppose to be some kind of great scientist/wizard that a group of college students are studying if only to give them a reason to encounter the retarded sons or the killer himself.  What works in this movie is it ridiculous dialog and concepts (one of the sons philosophizes while maggots pour from his head).  I don't know what the fuck is going on and I don't really care.  The source music keeps the pace moving and the kills are fairly well shot and are appropriately grisly (the open scene of a girl slicing her hand up with a piece of broken glass for protection for example).  This is lunacy at it's best.  I don't know if they set out to make a serious movie or not, but they created a perfect cult film experience...if it wasn't so annoying at times.  Check it out for yourself.  You haven't seen anything like this ever.

12.  Amsterdamned [1988]

Apart from having the most hilarious film title in history, this movie doesn't have much going for it.    People end up dead as a killer stalks the canals of the city famous for whores and weed smoking tourist.  It honestly plays more like a cop drama than a slasher film but made the list anyway because I just like saying Amsterdamned.  It does have tons of cop style "action" and the greatest slasher in history, a guy wearing scuba gear and swim fins.  Just the idea that a guy who walks like a duck (not sounds like a duck, that would be New York Ripper) killing people is fucking hilarious.  How can you not get away from him?  Just push his wobbly ass over and run.   Not great cinema, but made the list for a great title and dumb fucking concept.  From the director of BOTH of the possessed killer elevator movies, Dick Maas.  Yeah it ain't North American but it's fucking called Amsterdamned!  I had to include it...Amsterdamned, I had say it again.

11.  Killer Party (aka Fools Night, aka Fools Party, aka April Fools) [1986]

This movie simply has no idea what it wants to be, which is apparent with it's two count them TWO movie within a movie opening sequences.  Girls pledging a sorority get more than they bargain for when a ghost crashes their party.  This thing is equal parts college comedy, slasher film and exorcist clone.  They try to bridge three genres together and end up separating their entire audience.  It just has too many starts and stops for anyone to find it engaging.  The deaths are relatively bloodless and edited, while they earn the award for second dumbest slasher with guy in diving helmet.  It's just not scary nor is it funny. I will give it this, the zombie themed music video at the beginning is the 1980's personified.  The sad thing is, you wish this really was the movie instead of it being the fake out that it is.  It's probably the best shot and edited scene in the film, which begs the question, "What the fuck are you doing?" And that's when you receive the answer, "I really have no idea."  This movie was written by Barney Cohen (Friday the 13th part 4), directed by William Fruet (Funeral Home, Spasms) and has the worst theme music used in horror film history "These Are the Best Times."  Watch it if you are interested in the 1980's being vomited into your face.  Lucifer Valentine I'm talking to you.

10.  Killer Workout (aka Aerobicide) [1987]

Ah christ, not the Prior brothers again.  I've got to stop pissing God off.  He really knows how to fuck you in the ass at the end of the day.  That's right the Priors make their second entry on the list with this 1987 pseudo slasher movie, this time set in a health spa.  Chick get's burned to death in a tanning bed and years later people start to die in horrible ways, namely stabbed with a large safety pin.  This plot was handled better in the much superior Death Spa.  Where as that movie had tons of gore and a goofy plot (Ken Foree doesn't hurt either), this movie again plays out like a whodunit (I'll give you a hint, David Prior has seen Sleepaway Camp).  Ted doesn't manage to keep his shirt on this time either, which I'm sure was the whole point in setting it in a health club.  At least this thing was shot on film and plays out like the lost episode of T.J. Hooker.  The Prior's continued to make movies through out the years.  Whether they be action, drama or horror, Ted always would lose his shirt.  Damn those slippery things.  Lame, very lame.

9.  Destroyer [1988]

Not sure why a jackhammer needs laser sights and a scope, neither did the film makers as he only uses a regular jackhammer once in this fucking thing.  This one falls into the late 80's category of executed and no returned from the dead slasher genre.  Which is kind of a lie.  Unlike Shocker and The Horror Show, the chair doesn't even kill the dude.  Like the poster says, it just gave him a buzz.  Lyle Alzado plays serial killer/rapist Ivan Moser, who on the night of his execution jumps the chair only to stalk the now abandoned prison halls waiting to prey on the film crew that is shooting the new Linda Blair and Sybil Danning showering opus.  Not particularly gory nor interesting.  Though it is kinda fun seeing Lyle Alzado go fucking bat shit giggling the whole movie while slicing and dicing.  Anthony Perkins does his best to not laugh his ass off through every shot he's in, while Deborah Foreman provides the eye candy.  This one is primarily lost to time, but with technology being the way it is, I'm sure it will pop up streaming on Netflix or on a mass market crap DVD soon enough.  Maybe this movie is why God gave Alzado the brain cancer...yeah I'm going to hell for that one. 

8.  Terror on Tour [1980]

From the same shitheads that brought you the terrible Home Sweet Home comes this story about "What if KISS really were evil?"  The band The Clowns (which I assure you are a bunch of fucking clowns) are the darlings of the teen audience and experience a bit of a hiccup when someone in Clown's make-up starts killing drug dealers, groupies and drug dealing groupies.  Was it a member of the band, the adoring roadie or maybe the head of the parents group that want them off the stage?  Do you really care?  I don't.  This movie has a million red herrings and when the killer is revealed you practically forgot he was even a character.  This film tries so hard to comment on the current state of pop culture and falls flat on it's face faster than Ace Freely after a bottle of Jack.  I guess the next question you have is "Well, what's better?  This or Rocktober Blood?"  Neither.  They both suck a bag of dicks.  If I had a gun to my head (and I do so someone please call the police!) I would have to say...ah Rocktober Blood I guess.  Mainly because it's goofier and the music is just a tad better.  So yeah.  It's a movie.

7.  The Ripper [1985]

 

More shit for the shot on video market.  Don't believe the lies on the box about Tom Savini being the Ripper.  Yes, Savini is in the movie and he is the Ripper, but for about 5 minutes right at the end.  He was on set for maybe a day.  The idea of the movie involves a balding college professor who comes into contact with a antique ring that used to belong to Spring Heal Jack.  When he puts on the ring, he get's possessed and starts to kill people.  There is tons of blood in this movie, but that's just it, blood.  It never gets gory nor very interesting.  The movie, scratch that; the video looks like shit.  It reminds me of garbage like Woodchipper Massacre or local car commercials.  They attempt to do some period style dream sequences that end up looking like they visited the Ole Tyme Photo kiosk in their local mall.  Tom can't save anything when he pops in for the final scene wearing yellow contact lenses for no other reason then it makes him look creepy.  I'll give you my entire set of Kubrick DVDs if you can set through this thing and not fast forward.  I fucking dare you.  I triple dog dare you mother fucker!  This movie might as well have been made by Al Adamson.  Where was he anyway?  He wasn't buried under concrete yet.  I want dates and alibis.

6.  Honeymoon Horror [1980]

The owner of a weekend getaway island burns her husband to death because she's a lousy cheating bitch.  A year later, she reopens it with her dumb male lover and her handyman that could give Shriek of the Mutilated's Laughing Crow a run for his money. .  A bunch of sorority girls are getting married and stay on the island.  You don't have to be Poirot to figure out where this shit is going.  What does work are the characters.  Most of the sorority babes (and I use the term "babes" loosely) and their new hubbys pretty distinct personalities.  You still confuse them left and right, but for the most part they are not just a carbon copy of one another. This is another poor example of apeing Friday the 13th and basically has the same sets.  Lots of spooky woods and cabins are they stars of this film as it sure ain't the terrible actors that crap out pointless dialog. The killer hides and watches behind bushes like so many other of these films tend to do.  Where they trip up is constantly showing the killers burned and mangled hands really killing any sort of suspense of who the killer is.  You are primarily just waiting for this guy to ultimately put the hatchet into his miserable cheating wife's head (a decent scene of gore).  They build sympathy for him in the beginning but loose all of it when he kills the relatively blameless college kids.  You've seen this movie time and time again.  The kills aren't anything special and make you long for Madman Marz to show up.  Apart from this amazing vhs box artwork this movie should have been lost in time like so many Christopher Reeves.

5.  Twisted Nightmare [1987]

Made in 1982 but not released until 1987, if that tells you anything.  Shot on the same set as Friday the 13th 3D, and that's not the only thing it has in common with Friday.  A bunch of "teens" go back to their old camp and start to be picked off one by one by the retarded kid they used to poke fun at back in the day.  Sounding similar?  The kid was basically Joey from Friday 5, but in this one he is burned horribly and it was even on an old Indian burial ground.  Holy shit did they throw every horror cliche at this one.  It never really picks itself up off the ground.  You think with all these cliches it would be the ultimate experience in horror...or a gigantic mess.  I vote gigantic mess.  The burn make up makes him look more like Leatherface than Cropsy, but his costuming is pretty cool especially for the time period.  I this had to had more to do with Columbine than the Matrix or Marilyn Manson ever did.  The murders happen mostly off screen so that tends to devalue this as a horror film.  It really ends up being more stalk than slash.  Possibly the most annoying group of slasher fodder teens you've ever seen in a horror film.  Mullets abound in this movie.

4.  The Prey [1984]

By far this movie has the best poster tagline in screen history.  "It's not human, and it's got and axe."  Well sorry, to burst your bubble, but it is human.  He does have that axe though, so there can be truth in advertising.  Back in the day there was a forest fire that burned a bunch of gypsies in cave.  One survived and years later it strikes back a bunch of campers.  Wow, in the early 80's they really didn't bother to come up with any plots.  They tried to come up with an original back story for the killer or monster, but beyond that they really just didn't give a shit.  The campers are just that.  The characters are boring and really have no purpose to go on living.  It's not like one of them was going to grow up to be President one day.  Although most of them do have the personality of a young college aged George W Bush, sans the coke addiction.   They are literally just there to be menaced and to be lopped off one by one.  This one is no different.  You feel as if you've seen this movie before, and you really have.  The two points in this movie that make it any different from any other movie is when they reveal the killer at the end (which looks like a cross between the Lady Frankenstein creature and the pinhead from The Brain that Wouldn't Die) and when the park ranger tells a really bad joke...to a deer.  Even he doesn't find it funny.  That fucker has a screw loose, but mutant man does try to fix it as he's choking the life out of him.  The movie does earn some respect for killing primarily all of the cast  As boring as they come.  You'll be looking for something else to do.  Anything.  Go cook some dinner for your wife or something.  If you're not going to I will.  What would you like sweety? 

3.  House of Death (aka Death Screams) [1982]

This movie was, funnily enough, directed by one of Ozzie and Harriet's kids who was trying to make a break from his goody goody...well Ozzie and Harriet style lifestyle.  This is your A typical 80's slasher movie with really no wit at all.  This movie takes a good long while to get going.  It starts with two simultaneous bloodless murders on a train track and stalls like Knightrider 2000 after that.  This movie is absolutely enamored with the county fair that's come to town.  We spend a good portion of our time on the Tilt A Whirl and the pedafiliac kissing booth.  It really starts to give you fits remembering the horror that is Carnival of Blood.  Plus, I don't think I've ever seen older "teens" in a horror film in my life.  Pretty positive I saw one of their AARP cards drop out of their wallet in one scene.  And I shit you not, one of them has a pronounced bald spot.  They try to establish the horror film retard as a red herring, but you never believe a bit of it as he seems way to into his toy trains to ever pic up a machete.  Plus they never even tell you what happens to Corky.  The teens finally decide to get up to horror movie hi jinx at the cemetery 50 minutes in. That's where this thing really picks up it's pace faster than Prefontaine (I just wish it had his sweet mustache).  The kills start to get pretty damned graphic with some beheadings and a chick getting cut in half.  It seems like all the kills in this happen in about a 10 minute blistering period as well.  Why couldn't the whole movie be this balls out action?  Really abrasive musical score that seems more at home on an episode of the 1960's Batman show than in an 80's slasher movie.  Probably the only slasher film where the lead villain dies due to his own dumbassery...that and the cop blowing his head off after he is already dead.  Great police work there Kojak.

2.  Silent Madness 3D [1984]

Made in the 1980's 3D boom, Silent Madness is only that, a 3D movie (and not even good 3D).  A Dr. (ahem) Krueger is trying to cut down on overcrowding at the mental ward accidentally releasing serial killer Howard Johns to wreak his 3D brand of havoc on a bunch of sorority girls. The funny thing about this movie is the amount of actors from other horror films it has in it.  You have Ronnie and Meg from Sleepaway Camp as well as hard working slasher girl Elizabeth Kaitan appearing in this picture.  Which is actually very apt as this movie seems like a hodgepodge of other slasher movies.  It's kinda like 20 great slasher hits from days past.  The kills are never inventive while lead Belinda Montgomery stares into the camera with a look on her face as if she's just shit her pants at Denny's.  It doesn't take long for the thing to get going, but the "what went wrong" subplot keeps wanting to drag you down keeping this thing at a snails pace.  Sydney Lassick shows up, not demanding his cigarettes for once, as the town sheriff (check his house for basement dwelling retards please).  The 3D in this movie sucks with it's best gag being a cartoon hatchet thrown right at the camera.  This has to be the biggest waste of 3D since Parasite 3D.  They didn't shoot it like a 3D movie, never once taking advantage of the scope 3D can bring to a film.  It's just an occasional gag with something being thrown at the camera.  It's the kinda film that spelled the death of 1980's slashers.  No real story to speak of, just fodder to get to the murders which again aren't much to write home (if you grew up in my fucked up house) about.  Why the fuck do they keep going in the basement!

1.  Hauntedween [1991]

There's a reason you've never heard of this 1991 slasher film as I'm pretty sure only 2000 copies were  available for rental at select gas stations around America.  This Kentucky made movie was a pet project by a bunch of radio/tv graduates from Western Kentucky University.  The director wanted to prove that you can make movies in Kentucky.  This movie proves nothing.  The story concerns a family owned haunted house where the son accidentally kills a young girl.  Years later, a fraternity needs to make a bill payment and decide to open the supposedly cursed haunted house to make money.  Guess who shows up?  Michael Myers!  Okay so it's not Myers, but damn close.  The kid from the past returns on Halloween night wearing a variety of cheap jack Dollar Store Halloween masks to kill all the annoying college kids.  The trick here is all the visitors seem to think it's all part of the haunted house attraction, that is until one guy runs in and say's "This ain't part of the haunted house, it's real!"  I don't know why they all of a sudden listen to the least creditable character in the movie, but they do.  Full of some of the worst acting I've seen in movies period.   Hauntedween will go down in history as being one of the most generic and poorly put together slasher films ever.  A good example of it's cheap quality is the baseball bat death where one character gets his head knocked off with one clean non-abrasive strike.  Christ even the neck stub looks like the head was removed with a scalpel.  The villain is ultimately dispatched with a flamethrower and a car wreck.  Where these college kids got their mitts on a flamethrower is beyond me. This one wins the award for the least sympathetic most annoying characters.  There's a reason you don't set movies in Kentucky, people want to see white trash die.  With the exception of the lead actress some of the most non-erotic nudity in filmdom.  They all look like they're on day twelve of a six day meth binge. The character, who I believe is named Hanks, is the worst character ever bar fucking none.  He's suppose to be the wacky fun frat guy and only succeeds in alienating the entire audience with his forced southern accent.  He thinks he's Joe Bob Briggs...he is no Joe Bob.  You want him dead after the first line he speaks.  You wait and wait for him to finally get his comeuppance.  You want it to be so painful.  You want him to beg and plead for his life, if only you didn't have to hear his grating voice again.  Pull out his fucking tongue!  I want his fucking face turned into cube stake!  The sad thing is for once I want all these things to happen to the actual actor...and the fucker lives!  The only guy you care to see die ends up being the fucking hero!  The one mother fucker that lives!  Way to just shit on the audience.  Die mother fucker die!  They took away the only joy I had while watching this.  The one thing I wanted to see, and they stole it from me.  I cry death at the makers of this film!  Death I tells you.